The Mind: Rewiring the Stories You Tell Yourself
Last week we talked about the nervous system, what happens when it gets stuck in high alert, and the practical tools that help bring it back to a place of safety and calm. You an read the article here. That is where the work begins. In the body.
But something that is important to understand is that your thoughts are also directly triggering your nervous system. The story playing on repeat in your mind is not separate from how your body feels. They are deeply connected. And that means the inner narrative you carry — the one running quietly underneath everything you do — matters more than most of us realise.
This is something I learned the hard way.
WHAT I DISCOVERED IN THE FIRST TWO YEARS OF MEDITATION
When I first started meditating, I had a profound experience. I realised that underneath the noise there was this stillness, calmness within, that was always there! But what I didn't see coming was what I would actually hear when things got quiet enough to listen and with the awareness I was cultivating.
What I began to notice was that my inner voice was harsh, critical and judgmental. A lot of the time. It was hard to witness this at first.
But as I kept showing up, that voice became impossible to ignore. And once I could hear it clearly, I couldn't unhear it. I started to realise how much that internal narrative was shaping everything — my confidence, my actions, my relationships and who I was showing up as in the world.
The penny drop moment for me was this: it's only you and you in life. You are the one constant. Which means the relationship you have with yourself, the way you speak to yourself, the stories you choose to feed, is the most important work you will ever do! Not occasionally. Every single day.
I have built a completely different inner narrative since then. I have my own back 100% and cultivated a best friend within. And I want that for you too.
THE MIND-BODY LOOP
The thoughts you choose to take ownership of play a big role in how you feel. What you believe shapes your emotional state and those feelings drive your actions. This is the mind-body loop and it is powerful. The good news is, it is also an area where we can build real awareness and autonomy.
Sometimes a thought sparks a feeling. Other times, a feeling sparks a thought. Either way, awareness gives you the power to choose differently. With awareness we can find some space around our thoughts, and before we respond to things.
When we can hear the story we are telling ourselves, we can begin to change it. And changing it changes everything.
Notice what happens in your body when you say things like:
• "I can't do this"
• "I'm not good enough"
• "I have no time"
• "Everything is going wrong"
Heavy. Restrictive. Closed. Anxious. You can feel it physically.
Now notice what happens when you choose to shift the narrative:
• "I'm capable."
• "I'm courageous."
• "I'll do the best I can with the time I have."
• "I get to support my family."
These shifts might seem subtle and almost too simple. But the stories we repeat shape our beliefs about ourselves, our identity and our life. If we are repeating negative thoughts daily, over and over, we are intensifying negative feelings and are far more likely to feel stressed, anxious, exhausted and burnt out. Language matters. Let your words work for you, not against you.
SIMPLE PRACTICES TO BEGIN REWIRING YOUR INNER DIALOGUE
Talk to yourself like a best friend
Speak with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer someone you love. Most of us would never say to a friend what we say to ourselves without a second thought. Start there.
Thought monitoring
Start noticing the thoughts that repeat throughout your day — especially the ones that drain or empower you. When a thought arises that does not serve you, say STOP. Don't entertain it. Don't give it your energy.
Reframing thoughts
Shift limiting beliefs into more supportive ones. Instead of "I can't handle this," try "I'm learning to navigate challenge." The reframe does not need to be perfect it just needs to be kinder and truer.
Explore the story
Use these four powerful questions to check in with your mind and shift your perspective:
→ What is the story I'm telling myself?
→ How much of it is actually true?
→ What am I catastrophising or adding on?
→ What story would I rather tell myself?
Support your inner dialogue with meditation
One of the most powerful things I have found for this work is using guided meditation to actively shift the energy of your inner world. I've created a free Positivity Booster Meditation — a 6-minute practice designed specifically to boost your inner dialogue and help you access a more supportive, grounded inner voice. It’s a community favorite.
Access it here for free: Positivity Booster Meditation
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
Stress and anxiety aren't signs of weakness. They are signals, messages from your body and mind that something needs attention. And often, what needs attention is the story running underneath it all.
You don't need to eliminate every negative thought. That is not the goal, and it is not realistic. But you can learn to notice the stories you are living inside, question them, and begin — slowly, consistently — to build a more supportive inner world.
This is part of what I call the Reflect step in the Inner Stability Framework and it follows naturally from regulation (read here). When the body feels safer, the mind becomes more available. You start to hear things more clearly. And from that place, real change becomes possible.
It is only you and you in life. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever invest in.
JOURNAL PROMPTS TO TRY TODAY
→ What am I finding challenging right now?
→ What story am I telling myself about it?
→ Is that story helpful or harmful?
→ What would I rather believe and how would that belief change how I feel?
Want to know where you're starting from?
Take the free self-assessment to find out what nervous system type you are and receive the Inner Stability Starter Guide as a gift when you do.
Take the free self-assessment
About Jess
Jessica Baccanello is a Resilience and Self-Leadership Coach, yoga and meditation teacher, and the founder of The Inner Stability Method. For over a decade she has guided women to feel more grounded and centred, reshape limiting patterns and lead themselves with clarity and steadiness.